it has been some time since I posted thoughts here within these pages. 

A great deal of my wishywashyness has evaporated with the relationship I have been in. 

April 2 will be our 1 year anniversary for our first date. 

It has been a long distance relationship.  Two hours has been far more realistic in visitation than some of the other relationships i've been in.  I'm not even sure I'd call them relationships.  Regardless.  I've found a sense of peace about all of the questions I had.  There really is someone out there who is a nice guy and is sweet and appreciates the way my mind operates.  Someone who has enough of a sense of self that I don't scare him. 

It has been awesome.  I look forward to our future together.  We talk about being together, getting married. I pause as I hear this torrent of you shoulds.  However, we are doing what we feel is best for us.  For the time being he lives where he lives and I live where I live.  It's working for us and that is what matters. 

Aside from that being the human I am.  I do still have a desire to open an herb and spice shop.  I have a name picked out and I have a few activities I would like to include with the shop.  Maybe a monthly cooking class to help people know what the spices are.  Most recently I've thought about including a space for people to come and vent anger or frustration.  A small room where people can intentionally break things.  I suppose that would create a whatchamacallit.... liability but people need an outlet here as we just keep things bottled up.  I suppose a waver can overcome legalities there.  The humanness comes in with these doubts and fears...

Then I wonder if I am just a dreamer.  If I just want to dream and not bring things to fruition.  Somewhere I read that we tend to do that.  I don't want to be a trendsetter.  And then again I do.

I guess I have to be indecisive about something... I haven't let it go yet. 

Love and light to everyone.