I see.

Change.

"I am a patriot to a land" - Medicine For the People - Dark as Night "My Country"

A

land.

land-as in country not specific location.

Bigger than country.

Bigger

Bigger

Labels schmables

I really do hate to admit my ignorance but why suddenly do I have have 400 + comments. For so many years I was just a little obscure site. No one knew I existed.

I can't read foreign languages and I fear half if not all of these comments are bots.

What is a small town girl to do?

I am sorry if your comments were valid and I marked them as spam. It just seems unfathomable to receive 400 in such a small amount of time.

Ignorance is ...

A double edged sword.

It certainly has been some time since I have visited these pages. Things are going well for me. Still employed, still happily married. Still thinking too much.

Missing the days when I could ponder heavy thoughts and had the space to write them down.

Every since the format changed here it doesn't feel the same.

Perhaps I'll get back to it.

We shall see.

Why yes, I think I will have another. I find myself eating a lot of desserts. I find myself worrying. I find myself crying. I find myself screaming. I find myself trowing. I find myself.

There is not enough dessert in the world.

I am frustrated that another whom has no basis for my reality determines what they believe I should be able to afford.

What right is it of theirs?

What right is still my right?

What right was ever my right?

Yes sir, May I have another!

F That!

I can't handle the stress anymore. I am ready for my financial situation to be comfortable.

Yeah, it has taken me a bit to get around to scoping things out. I cleared out 50+ sites down to 10. All based upon if people had converted over their wordpress or not. If I could see what looked like an old xanga page. I kept following them Seemed like a simple solution.

How in the heck do I find people though? Are my thoughts just randomly hanging out there. What happened to footprints. Is there such a tracking system now. I am not seeing this info.

And honestly. It's not so important that I delve too deeply.

Glad to see that my subscription is until 2029.

Well so much for all that... Time for bed.

So has anyone really got this figured out yet.

I know it's been a long time since I browsed these pages. Interesting to say the least is how my life has been going.

Too soon to tell anything for specific details..

Oh, except that I got married on October 5th. It was a beautiful day!

Love and Light, Peace to all.

So, this is a bit different. We know I love change so this shall be interesting. Can't wait to see who all is still here.

I saw a man on a corner holding a sign that read; father of two short 23.00 dollars for rent. I thought, believe in humanity and believe in something greater than yourself, perhaps you have felt that before, when you look at your children and realize that you want to give them everything that they deserve, things that you didn’t have or have not had before.
When you see failure in the life of others don’t criticize them, have compassion and learn from their mistakes and challenges. When you feel so small and weak look at your hand and the horizon, look for a feeling of peace and greatness that you can find within.
The journey of life is a circle of feelings of approval and acceptance, pride and love, no one can tell you what to do or what to be, your loved ones can guide you and support you but ultimately it is your essence and consciousness that will lead you in the path of happiness and security, that we all crave to feel, to love, and possess.
Never give up, never surrender, it has been said before, there is light at the end of the tunnel…
No matter how bad things can get, believe in yourself, and discover your greatness. …

This morning 5-8-13.  I dreamt that my aunt's house was entered by people who did not belong there.  I kept trying to shut the front door and it would not stay shut.  These people were going to blatanly enter the house in front of me.  I called 911 and was swearing like a sailor.  I was puzzled when I woke and went about my business.  Returned some calls and decided to text my aunt and tell her to check the front door due to this dream. 

The text went like this. 

"Would you think I was nuts if I told you that I had a dream that some one was taking advantage of you and doug? They came into the house when you were gone. It was several men, younger, strangers to me. And a girl too. I was all sorts a pissed. Tried to lock them out but the front door was being a bitch. I ended up calling 911 and raising cain. Um check your front door lock before you leave town please. :p"

Her reply

"Lol. Thanks weird thing is, it started acting up just this morning. We are suppose to be getting a new door very soon. Just waiting on handyman. But thanks for the heads up"

it has been some time since I posted thoughts here within these pages. 

A great deal of my wishywashyness has evaporated with the relationship I have been in. 

April 2 will be our 1 year anniversary for our first date. 

It has been a long distance relationship.  Two hours has been far more realistic in visitation than some of the other relationships i've been in.  I'm not even sure I'd call them relationships.  Regardless.  I've found a sense of peace about all of the questions I had.  There really is someone out there who is a nice guy and is sweet and appreciates the way my mind operates.  Someone who has enough of a sense of self that I don't scare him. 

It has been awesome.  I look forward to our future together.  We talk about being together, getting married. I pause as I hear this torrent of you shoulds.  However, we are doing what we feel is best for us.  For the time being he lives where he lives and I live where I live.  It's working for us and that is what matters. 

Aside from that being the human I am.  I do still have a desire to open an herb and spice shop.  I have a name picked out and I have a few activities I would like to include with the shop.  Maybe a monthly cooking class to help people know what the spices are.  Most recently I've thought about including a space for people to come and vent anger or frustration.  A small room where people can intentionally break things.  I suppose that would create a whatchamacallit.... liability but people need an outlet here as we just keep things bottled up.  I suppose a waver can overcome legalities there.  The humanness comes in with these doubts and fears...

Then I wonder if I am just a dreamer.  If I just want to dream and not bring things to fruition.  Somewhere I read that we tend to do that.  I don't want to be a trendsetter.  And then again I do.

I guess I have to be indecisive about something... I haven't let it go yet. 

Love and light to everyone.